Here Comes the MOB Mother of the Bride

Here Comes the MOB Mother of the Bride

Someone please call the paramedics or get me a Valium IV. I’m the mother of the bride!!! I have only recently come to this revelation and with it, my role to play in the wedding day. As referenced in the bridal shower chapter of this blog, we are coming up on the wedding sooner than I had ever imagined.  I Am Not Prepared.  Physically, it’s all set.  Emotionally?  Another story entirely.  I would so vastly prefer to be invisible but since I cannot, I must put on my Big Girl Panties and deal. There are probably large numbers of mother of the bride “Boomettes” out there who are facing this new chapter with me.  Along with all of the incredible joy and sentimental tears, plans and emotions, a niggling, yet persistent question raised its head. What on earth is a 50-something year old, bit shambolic, comfort-loving MOB (mother of the bride) supposed to wear? Granted, I’ve still got two months.  I’m thinner than I’ve been in long memory, thanks to flunking a glucose test and the resultant low carb diet prescribed.  I’ve lifted weights to rid my arms of the dreaded bat wings.  My hair works for me.  After all the hullabaloo of the shower, the bachelorette and the wedding dress, you’d think I’d be ready for this. Finding the dress, sure.  But really, I don’t mean that at all. You are never, ever ready for this. This is my baby! She was little only a second ago.  My fluffy haired, tow-headed duckling that I cuddled, adored, cheered, encouraged, celebrated and relished every single second with for 26 years.  My Beloved Child; my Joy and my Heart that walks around independently outside of my body.  My miracle, conceived in utter love. My daughter.   To me, there is no sweeter word in any language. It feels like I’m losing her forever.  Rationally, I...
Still Sexy After All These Years

Still Sexy After All These Years

BIRDS DO IT, BEES DO IT “O then ‘tis, O then, that no joy’s above; the pleasures of love.” King Charles II of England, “The Merry Monarch,” 1660-1685.  Quote from a poem written to Frances Stuart, Duchess of Richmond, who famously refused to become his mistress. What was Charles referring to?  In a word, sex. With his legion of mistresses, Charles certainly knew his way around the bedroom but perhaps he had a slightly skewed perspective on sex.  After all, he is credited with at least six illegitimate children whom he legitimized—and many more he didn’t. Sexual Intimacy in Later Years The bedroom is a big part of life though perhaps not quite as all-consuming as it was to King Charles.  However, whether you are a “singleton,” in a dating relationship, a long-time married or newly divorced Baby Boomer, this subject is bound to arise.  Sex—with all its joyous, intimate and healthful aspects—can be such a wonderful part of our lives even now.  We can still be “in the game” when it comes to sex as we age. Many of us at this chapter in our story are (or have decided to be) content with a semi-platonic or platonic, loving couplehood.  Still, scores more of us are decidedly unhappy.  Some are struggling with various challenges from midlife health issues to side effects of medications, to simply lacking desire or motivation.  There may be relationship difficulties or lack of a relationship.  We all have our hang ups; we all have lived and loved.  Many midlife couples are doing just fine, though they seem to be in the minority given the plethora of medications, advertisements, articles, etc. dealing with this issue. Large numbers of us would love to have a meaningful and fulfilling physical relationship.  The truth is, a lot of us have simply lost our way. The rules changed at...
Mother of the Bridal Shower

Mother of the Bridal Shower

We aren’t building our dream house, but we are redecorating.  I use the term very loosely.  We are renovating madly. Our only child, our beloved daughter, is having her bridal shower here and I have become Muriel Blandings. So far, I have had my husband Charlie move all of the living room furniture three times, build a slate walkway, put a new roof on the house and replace the gutters.  He has replaced the kitchen faucet, we have painted all the trim and it seems that a box arrives from Amazon daily. My pinnacle of “Blandingness” was when we chose the dining room paint.  I took a couch sleeve to Lowes to match the dusty rose color exactly.  Multiple paint can returns later, I finally got a dusty rose that satisfied me.  Charlie hid back in the hardware section at some point so that the Lowes people would not think he was with me.  I can’t blame him.  I’ve run mad. Wrapped in Love I was wrapping shower gifts when I found myself making ever larger and more extravagant bows, like I used to wrap “from Santa.”  It seemed that the wilder the bow, the more luck, more love, more happiness would come to her. I suddenly felt a kinship with every mother in every culture.  For the first time I understood the importance of ritual in a marriage.  The traditions, the well wishing, the hopes, dreams and the love a mother wraps into a gift.  It was as though I was decorating her wedding bower with my paint, my tchokes, and my bows. There simply was not enough beautiful adornment I could give to this beloved daughter.  I wanted somehow to ensure her a wonderful marriage by my efforts. Once I realized what I was doing, I set aside the gifts for a few moments.  As I sat...
Wear It Well

Wear It Well

My 83-year-old mom is relaxing in her favorite oversized chair. Her glittering snowy hair is in a chic bob.  She wears a light touch of makeup, an elegantly casual outfit.  Mom follows fashion trends but at a stroll; she’s by no means enslaved to them.  When it comes to women’s fashion and style, she finds clothing that suits her body, makes her feel good and looks right in step.  At her leisure, Mom is authentic, stylish and utterly gorgeous with personality and confidence galore. Mom wears it well. I, however, do not… Yet. I always assumed that once I hit oh, around 40 or so, I’d magically figure out women’s fashion or incorporate some artful and stylish drapery into the mix.  Neither of those things ever happened.  40 shot past at warp speed. I took advantage of this rare opportunity (I have five siblings!) to obtain Mom’s counsel on fashion and dressing myself for the upcoming spring, her favorite shopping season.  Mom adores dispensing advice, so that suited us both. Spring 2015 fashion trends are bursting upon us, bringing with it new women’s style and color options.  The fabrics are gauze, crisp cotton, linen, lace and denim in delicious new types of wearable options.  These colors are also bright, fresh and clear, highly flattering to mature complexions. Dressing with Ageless Style The best thing about all of these styles is that they are ageless, under 50, or over 50! I mean, sure you could “dress your age” but why on Earth would you want to?  Dress as old as you feel, be confident and you’ll feel even better! But how would I personally incorporate these new styles and goodies?  As a 70s girl, my idea of fashion and a wardrobe encompasses, well… jeans. Aging Gracefully However, I have an over-55 body now and I need to know how to...
Grin and Bear It

Grin and Bear It

Today I’d like to chat about our teeth. An almond binge (I can’t resist these things) and clenching my teeth while sleeping resulted in an injured facial nerve.  After ruling out the scary stuff, I was left with a numb left jaw up to my eyeball.  It took 8 weeks to heal.  The Dr. called it TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Dysfunction), aggravated by Almond Binging.  (I called it “Seriously?  Almonds?”)  I had no idea I clenched my teeth while sleeping (bruxism) because I was, well…asleep. For most of my life so far, I have always had such easy teeth.  No need for any braces; not many cavities.  My teeth were white and straight and gave me no problems at all.  But now, in a few short years I have acquired veneers due to grinding my front teeth, two crowns, a root canal or so and this new TMJ thing.  Such dental problems are extremely annoying—and expensive.  The whole thing makes me want to gnash my teeth or angrily crunch almonds, both of them now on my growing “try to avoid” list.  Grrrr. A Silver (Non Dental) Lining My annoyance with the need for a veneer and the exorbitant expense was mitigated by the sheer prettiness of them.  Lovely and even, they were worth every penny to transform my smile.  And that was one pretty penny!  (Or several pennies.)  But along came Mr. Financing to Save the Day!  Hurray!  A dental payment plan to make one smile. The dental crowns aren’t that big a deal either, although I do think I could’ve actually made a down payment on a car for what they cost.  Again, saved by financing!  My first root canal was really quite easy; not at all the horrible experience one hears about.  It was, however, boring as all get out.  These issues required attention due to appearance and...

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